Tony SopraNo Easy Buckets

As I lay writing this with my newborn sitting and squirming a couple of feet over, I am scrolling Bluesky* and I came across an unbelievable James Gandolfini story. It ties to basketball though, I promise. 

Apparently, in some movie I have not seen called The Last Castle, James Gandolfini played a character named Colonel Winter. In some scene in that movie, Colonel Winter heads out to the slab in his prison yard and misses some baskets. I have zero clue if that is an important scene in the movie. 

Apparently, James “Jimmy” Gandolfini** was quick to point out that’s hard for him because he doesn’t miss. The director said “but Colonel Winter does” and Gandolfini proceeded to make at least 20 consecutive baskets before looking at the director and proceeding to miss one. 

Shouts to Farmer Jones for re-posting*** the story. 

https://bsky.app/profile/thefarmerjones.bsky.social/post/3k3yfmr5rhz2u

At a later, “let’s make lists” point of the NBA’s off-season it may be time to make a list of movie actors that are good at basketball.  As Jimmy Gandolfini is most famous for playing Tony Soprano, at a later date it may be time to make a list of what fictional mobster would be the best at basketball. Nucky Thompson from Boardwalk Empire is tall, but Avon Barksdale from The Wire actually coached a basketball team so I think he’s got some idea of what he’s doing. As Tony Soprano is one of the all-time great anit-heros, or villain-protagonists, or whatever your favorite monikers is… maybe there’s a list of which of those types of characters would make for good basketball players. The answer there gets more complex. 

But what’s got me intrigued right now is what it is about basketball that attracts creative types like Gandolfini in the first place. Adam Sandler is noted for playing all over the country. Jason Sudeikis played with Brandon Rush and his brothers in high school. Mahershala Ali played Division I basketball at St. Mary’s. 

There’s no science to this, but I think it’s that basketball is this perfect combination of selflessness and selfishness that other sports don’t have. On a spectrum, football is incredibly selfless. As a football player, you’re literally putting yourself in (a lot of) harm’s way to help your team move a ball down the field or to keep the other team from doing so. Baseball offense, in a lot of ways, is the most selfish. A baseball player on offense is, in a lot of ways, playing individually one on nine trying to get a hit. Tennis is an individual game, rugby has huddles of athletes moving in solidary scrums. ****

But basketball is different. Yes, in a lot of ways setting up an isolation play, squaring away a portion of the floor, and holding the ball for the majority of the possession is selfish. But that’s also bad basketball. 

Basketball is orchestrating five players, as if they were on a string, in an effort to get someone to a spot, with the ball, where they can take a “good” shot. And even when Steph Curry-the greatest shooter of all time*****- is open for three after sprinting through screens and teammates running distraction actions to spur him to get open, he misses six of ten times******. 

But there’s also a selfish moment in every offensive possession of basketball. There’s a moment in the offense unless there is a turnover, where one of the five players on the floor decides they’ve got the best shot. That moment has selfishness in it because shots are a zero-sum game. There were an average of 99.3 offensive possessions per game in the NBA last year. Teams averaged between 12 and 16 turnovers per game and between 7.5 and 13.5 offensive rebounds per game. That means there were roughly 95 “shots” in a given game. Basketball reference said there were 88.3 Field Goals attempted per team per game, with 23 Free Throws. So when you pair in some free throws aren’t paired with shots because of intentional fouls and whatnot, or that some come after made shots… anyways, there aren’t infinite shots. And at some point, someone has to be like “I need to spend one of our ninety shots today right NOW.” 

If you’re playing with Michael Jordan, that means you’re saying “Me taking this shot here is worth it even if Michael Jordan could take it.” And if you, in whatever basketball game, are more like Kobe Bryant? Then at some point, you’re like “Yeah I’ve shot 20 times, but I need to take this one too.”

But each and everyone one of those shots also took an incredible amount of work to get out of all five players. Teammates of Curry, Jordan, and Bryant all work relentlessly to get the best shot for their guys. 

Defensively, in basketball, you also have to be both selfish and selfless. Mentally, Draymond Green, Kawhi Leonard, or even Dennis Rodman have to think somehow they are able to shut down one of the top players in the world. Schematically, all five defenders have to move in carefully choreographed unison to make sure they prevent easy shots. Defenders have to trust that their teammates are able to help out, but they also have to flip the switch and make a gamble to steal, block, or deflect the ball. 

Basketball fits in this spectrum while also constantly allowing for creativity. Ball handling, getting to spots to get shots off, finishing around the rim… basketball is full of creativity and craftiness in a way that makes the athlete an artist. 

I think the combination of basketball being selfish, selfless, and creative makes it a natural place for an actor or artist to excel. You have to own the stage, mic, or camera with the confidence and brashness that taking a thirty-coot jump shot takes, but you have to play off of your teammates. You have to abide by the script like it’s a play hollered in off the sideline, but you need to take advantage of the creative licensing. 

Basketball is a beautiful art in a way no other sport is. It’s the grace of ballerinas flying through the air. It’s the finely tuned and rehearsed monotony of free throws. It’s shiftiness with the quickness of violinists fingers and it’s dunking with brute force of heavy metal electric guitars. It both can’t be practiced enough and there are situations in every game that are so unique they require improv. Actors and musicians lean into basketball because it mirrors what they do.

It’s not that Jimmy Gandolfini picked up basketball, and got good at it because he’s a fantastic actor. But the same traits, qualities, and interests that made him a fantastic actor made him a basketball player.

I think I mostly ran with this idea because I like the idea of Tony Soprano playing pick-up with Paulie Gualitieri (Tony Sirico). I feel fairly confident Christopher Moltisanti (Michael Imperioli) would look the part but have trouble with his left hand. Furio Giunta (Federico Castelluccio) would be the bruiser in the bunch that you don’t want to see on the block. Phil Leotardo (Frank Vincent) is a pass-first point guard that gets upset when his teammate misses. Artie Bucco (John Ventimiglia) is a good player offensively but an absolute turnstile on defense. Bobby Baccalieri has Shaquille O’Neal’s potential but Eric Dampier's output. 

And Ralph Cifaretto (Joe Pantoliano), who actually dribbled a ball in the show, sucks.

Jimmy Gandolfini is #54. 

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*Bluesky is a Twitter alternative that is slowly growing by giving users invite codes to invite more users. I got one through a Locked On connection and I am really liking it because the ickiness of Elon Musks Twitter ain’t there. No, I have not been awarded invite codes yet. Yes, I have a list of people who have asked. 

** He is called Jimmy in the story and I love the idea that Tony Soprano is Jimmy Soprano. 

*** Some people are calling Blue Sky tweets “skeets” but that feels awkward so I am not

**** Yes I left out Soccer because I think soccer is a lot like basketball in this sense but also not a lot like basketball in how much I know about it

*****Though maybe we need to use Sabrina Ionescu as the example given the summer she is having in the WNBA. 

******Yes this is an oversimplification. Steph Curry shoots roughly 40% from 3 on a given year, so 6/10 makes sense… but that’s on all 3’s, not the open 3’s scenario laid out. Analytics would indicate he shoots a much higher percentage when open. But chill. You understood the setup.